


Long Live the Queen

by jocelyncade



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Disguised Royalty, Istus is queen, Its not really modern but not really old, Multi, Taako and Lup are royalty, fuck sazed, hell yeah, it starts kinda slow but it'll pick up soon dw., its whatever the hell I want it to be, not really graphic but its in there, violence and a bit of wound description?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-01-08 11:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12253581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jocelyncade/pseuds/jocelyncade
Summary: A Royalty AU - Taako and Lup pretty much have it made. They've found ways around everything that kept them from keeping their agency while still being the prime example of Royalty. But what happens when something stands in their way that they can't get around?





	1. An Introduction

Drawing their fingers across their faces, they watched the magic take their faces, beautiful, but ordinary, to something ethereal and otherworldly. 

 

Cheekbones raising higher, chins more pointed, necks slimmer, eyes sparkling, hair more vibrant. 

 

They hurried, painting on makeup, robin egg blues and carnation reds, shrugging on their garments, and zipping each other up, they flitted down the halls, half-racing, half-trying not to trip in their new shoes. 

Descending the many stairs and nodding at the curtseying maid they pass on their way, they approach the large double doors leading into the main hall. 

 

A low rumble of chattering townsfolk could be heard even from where they were. 

 

Waiting patiently to be announced, they grabbed each other’s hands, gentle, to avoid fresh polish, and squeezed reassuringly.

  
  



	2. The Raven's Bard

 

“Their Royal Highnesses; Prince Taako and Princess Lup.” Avi, the Herald announced. 

 

Each composed themselves, turning their normally expressive faces into masks, and glided towards their thrones on either side of the Queen, bowing to her before each took their seat. 

 

A quiet, “Your Majesty” was said in unison. 

 

Queen Istus stood, and addressed the court, 

 

“Good Morning, all. Court is now in session. Air your grievances and bring your petitions to my attention. The first of you may approach.”

 

As the common folk went by, one after the other, Taako fought to keep himself from slumping over, bored out of his mind. How Lup could stand or even  _ enjoy _ this snore-fest was beyond him. 

 

Istus was sympathetic, but firm. She listened patiently and took her time to come to conclusions, sometimes granting boons, or favors on her behalf. 

And people were happy with the things she did. 

 

Lup sat, spine straight, feet planted firmly on the ground, waiting to be needed. It wasn’t often they were, but she liked to be prepared just in case. 

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Taako gently raising a hand to his mouth, suppressing a yawn, whether of boredom or lack of sleep she wasn’t quite sure.    
  
He had been out late doing gods-know-what while she practiced her magic. They both were fond of venturing out into the kingdom, wearing common clothes and beguiling people with their charm, and definitely not cheating at pool. 

 

Gods know, she enjoyed every second  _ not _ spent in the layers of silks and chiffon that weighed her down right now. Beautiful but restricting, she’d rather be in a pair of nice slacks and a doublet, like Taako got to be. He enjoyed the high-fashion, and the debonaire appeal of dressing for his station. He had at least twice the amount of clothing she did, and he still stole her gowns on occasion. To his credit, he often pulled them off better, his confidence bringing out the best in the outfit despite them being functionally identical. But Lup preferred function to fashion. If she looked amazing while wearing something she could move in, it was just a nice little bonus. 

 

Another yawn. Even Lup knew when they needed to chill and actually do some work for once. 

Not everyone could just rattle off spells off the top of their head. 

While each of them sat in their own little world, Istus perched on her throne, head held high fielding questions and requests left and right, with ease owed only to her many years of experience.

 

“Please, your Highness, our crops have been ruined by blight. We request aide.”

 

“Oh goodness, no. Have your fields cleared and any remaining debris burned. Prepare them for the next harvest. We’ll send untainted seeds and redirect extra food supplies from the castle and other, more prosperous villages to help you in your time of need. We’ll have it all routed to Refuge as soon as possible. Davenport? If you could make the necessary arrangements?”

 

“Of course, your Highness.” 

 

Istus was a tall woman, with flowing pure white hair and dark skin. Her arms and face flecked with light freckles and an aura about her that would make you surprised to learn she was human. 

 

Taako and Lup had been adopted by her when they were just 6 years old. Already world-weary; a pair of street urchins with an affinity for misdirection, tricks and being where they shouldn’t be. 

 

It happened by accident. Breaking into a hotel room, not knowing who was inside, hoping only to find some small valuables to pawn. 

 

She saw something in the twin elves that day, beyond their charm and childish facade. 

 

Restrained by the guards they hadn’t expected to be at attention behind the door, she grilled them with question after question, her face softening with each painfully honest answer. 

 

“Where are your parents? What were you doing here? How long has it been since you last ate?”

 

The guards delivered them to a nearby hostel with instructions to stay put for a week. They were fed and clothed, ready to bolt as soon as the money she put on their beds ran out. But they never got the opportunity to; as a short gnome with an impressive mustache came to retrieve them, giving them an offer they would have been insane to refuse, and were beyond grateful for. 

 

“I humbly present a gift for Your Majesties.” A pauper boy said, holding up a plainly wrapped box while bowing. Before anyone could approach, Taako raised his hand. 

 

“Open it.” He ordered. The boy quietly complied, and he gently waved his fingers over the box’s contents - a delicate looking set of bracelets. 

 

His face a mask, never betraying what he found when casting detect magic, looked the boy in the eyes and whispers an incantation under his breathe, watching the now-charmed child’s eyes go vacant. 

 

“Go, tell the guards over there who gave you the order to deliver this to us. Let no one touch them.”

 

“Yes sir.” He said absently, and dutifully marched, box in hand, and was quickly escorted out. Taako returned to his seat and sighed, rubbing his temples. Couldn’t they go one day without trying to give them some cursed shit. 

 

An hour passed and finally the bells in the next door church rang out, signalling the coming of Noon, and the end of Happy Peasant Hour. When the last of them filed out, Taako practically jumped out of his throne, eager to do Literally Anything Else. 

 

Before he could go anywhere, a final visitor approached, someone he had seen before but never really gotten the opportunity to speak with before. Tall, dark and handsome, a well pressed black suit with a crest of ravens embroidered on the breast pocket. 

 

_ Well.  _ Taako thought to himself.  _ This might be interesting _ .    
  


He hadn’t even gotten a word out when the man glided past Taako, heading straight for Istus. 

 

“Hello your majesty, it’s good to see you again. How have you been?”

 

“Very well, thank you. Yourself? How is Raven fairing with the new legislation.”

 

“I’m fine, Raven sends her regards, and it’s working out well in her favor. The people don’t mind either.” They both laughed, in on a joke Taako had no context for. 

 

“Oh Taako, come meet Kravitz  McAllister .”

 

Kravitz huh? Nice name for a nice face. 

 

“Enchanté, Kravitz. From Lethurna, I presume?” 

 

“Yes, I suppose you could call me Queen Raven’s Bard.” He said pleasantly. Both of them knew Bard was often code for either Spy or Messenger. Usually both. Probably both. 

 

“Fascinating. It’s an absolute travesty we haven’t had a chat before, Krav.”

 

“Kravitz.”

 

“Potato, Potahto.” Taako waved him off. “Now I have to know where you got that charming number you’ve got on. It looks  _ divine _ on you, accentuates your figure.”

 

“Thank you?”

 

“You’re welcome. I gotta say, I’m  _ shocked _ we haven’t been introduced yet, I-”

 

He was rudely interrupted by Lup. 

 

“Taako we gotta  _ go _ !” She said, grabbing him by the arm, ready to pull him if she had too. “We promised Jules we’d get your focus as soon as Court was done. We can’t leave her hanging.” 

 

He furrowed his eyebrows in anger, silently gesturing to the tall glass of water he was trying to chat up, but Kravitz had already been swept away by Istus for more shop talk about Queen Raven and Istus’ business with each other. Kravitz hadn’t even glanced back at him. The nerve.

 

“Luluuuu.” He whined. 

 

“Your own fault. Shoulda talked to him a long time ago. Even I’ve spoken to him in passing dummy. Gotta stop focusing on only Taako.”

 

“Please, what else is there worth focusing on.”

 

“Ugh, lets just go already I need to be out of this frilly prison like, yesterday.”

 

“I don’t know,” Taako smirked, eyeing Kravitz again. “I’m kinda down to chill here and admire the view.”

“Gods, you’re such a loser.” Lup said, pulling him from the room anyway.

  
  



	3. The Castle Staff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God I love writing twin talk.

Lup and Taako put on much more sensible attire and made there walk through the halls to the craftsmen's quarters. The telltale sounds of hammer hitting anvil rang out as they grew closer. 

 

They opened the large wooden door, and there stood Julia Burnsides, mask over her face, a fresh blade in her tongs. She dropped it gently into the barrel of water, steam rushing to escape and the water threatening to boil over for a moment. As the door shut behind them, alerting her to their presence, she lifted her mask with a smile. 

 

“Hello your majesties. Here for your focus, Taako?”

 

“You got it Jules.” 

  
“Put a lot of work into this baby. Garfield is just putting the finishing touches on the inlay. It was sapphire you wanted, right?”

 

“You got it bubele. Brings out my eyes.”

 

“I’ve got to finish up these new blades for Carey and Killian. They’re with Mags and Garfield so go bother them.”

 

“Gotcha sweetcheeks.” Lup said, as she and Taako continued further into the workshop. 

 

Mags sat with a block of wood in hand, carving the beginning of something with a whole mess of legs. 

 

Carey was in Killian’s lap, a drink in hand while chatting vibrantly about something or other, while Garfield was buried behind a mountain of schematics and invoices, gently setting jewels into what would be Taako’s new focus.

 

“Taako! Lup!” Magnus called out, excited to see them. He stood and enveloped them in a hug, lifting them off the ground. 

 

“Hey that’s enough big guy, don’t manhandle the merchandise.” Taako teased. 

 

“It’s been forever since you’ve come around. Can’t blame a guy for being happy to see you two.”

 

“You say forever, I say a week. We’ve been kind of busy lately. It’s almost our birthday.” 

 

“Shit, that’s right isn’t it. You’re turning 23 right? Big number.”

 

“Yeah. Istus is kind of freaking out.”

 

“I bet. No matter who she picks, I’m sure you two would do a great job.”

 

Taako shrugged, and Lup studied the floor. It had been a point of contention between the two of them not to talk about what was coming. The matter of their birthday was prominent in Istus’ mind because, once that day came, she had to choose which of the twins would be first in line. Neither of them knew which was born first, and Istus couldn’t have children of her own to step forward, so it was a decision they weren’t looking forward to hearing.

 

The silence Magnus’ comments brought was quickly interrupted by the delivery of food. 

 

“Ren! What shakin’?” Taako said, eager to change the subject.    
  
“Not much Taako. We miss you ‘round the kitchen. You gonna come by soon? Istus keeps asking me to make her macaroons, but they’re never as good as when you make them.”

 

“You’ll get there. Maybe someday I’ll teach you my secret ingredient.”

 

“Oh so it’s a secret now, huh? How come Angus gets to make them with you then?”   
  


“If you were my apprentice then you would get to too! But you aren’t because you never asked. Agnes did. Now he gets to reap the spoils.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Ren giggled. “Really though, I’m the only one that gets to talk to you outside the kitchen. The others are asking after you. Especially Sazed.”

 

Taako stopped smiling and stiffened. 

“Yeah, well he can mind his own business. I’ll come by when I feel like it, not when the kitchen staff demands it.” 

 

Ren looked hurt by his words, Lup noticed. They had been laughing quietly between themselves not even a minute ago, the rest of them not paying attention while Lup asked after Carey and Killian’s honeymoon. (It was lovely. Goldcliff is so nice this time of year.) They hushed as Taako spat his words at Ren, however.

 

Ren pursed her lips, and quietly curtseyed, picking up her empty tray and bidding them goodbye. 

 

“Hey, Koko? What the fuck was that?”

 

He said nothing, instead walking up to Garfield. 

“Are you almost done?” 

 

“Yessss. Almost, almost. Just one finishing touch. I can make it even better if you’re willing to make a deal.”

  
“Can it, I’m not in the mood anymore.” 

 

“Alright, touch-y.” He polished the gleaming surface of the bejeweled glaive and held it up, presenting it to Taako. 

 

“Here you are, the Krepstar. The finest craftsmanship went into this, use it well.”

  
Taako muttered a thanks, snatched it from his hands and stormed out. They watched as he slammed the door behind him, and Lup wondered if she should follow him or not. 

 

“What’s his deal?” Julia asked, removing her gloves and placing them on the workbench.    
  
“No idea. How are the swords coming?” 

 

“Just about done. Letting the hilt set for a minute, then you can take them and be on your way ladies.”

 

“Baller.” Carey answered. 

 

“I should go see what’s up.” Lup started, getting up off her chair. 

 

“Oh, that reminds me, Lucretia wanted to see you in the library, Lup. I don’t think she’ll need you for long, but she asked me to tell you.” Magnus interrupted. 

 

“Okay. I’ve got to be going then. Sorry this got weird.”   
  


“Eh. Shit happens. If Taako was just being a dick can you try to get him to apologize to Ren?”

 

“I’ll see what I can do.”

  
  


Taako wasn’t surprised to see that Lup hadn’t gone after him when he stormed out, but he was still a little bit disappointed. 

 

He was being childish, he knew, but it didn’t change the fact that he had already stormed out like someone didn’t want to share a toy with him. Ren probably didn’t even understand why he had gotten upset. 

 

But Sazed already felt entitled to Taako’s time, he wasn’t going to run to each beck and call just because it was coming from Ren. 

 

Instead of sulking any more than he had, Taako settled in to meditate with his new focus. The sooner it was attuned, the sooner he could start to use it. 

  
  


“Lucretia?”

 

“Over here Lup!” She called out. 

The library was placed in a prominent tower, high shelves, long windows running the length of each wall, and Lucretia’s study stuck comfortably in a corner. She had her easel set up, in the part of the room with the best light, and Lup knew she’d be longer than “just a minute”.

 

“I got some new oils delivered. Istus was asking me to get each of you to sit for a new painting and I already got Taako’s done. Do you have time now?”

 

“Uh. Yeah sure. I have to run as soon as I can though, ok?”

 

“Of course, Lup. How do you want to be posed?”

 

“Standing. Nothing too fancy, I just like to be tall.”

 

“Not hard for you to do.” Lucretia smirked, as if she didn’t stand at least 6 inches above Lup, and Lup was in heels. 

 

“Funny.”

 

“You know I’m teasing.” She giggled. “Frankly I’m envious you can pull off ‘intimidating’ when you’re… What? 5’ 0”?”

 

“Ha. Ha. I’m 5’ 7” and you know it.” 

 

“Only because you keep telling me.” 

 

Lup settled into her pose, gripping her umbrastaff and holding her palm to her stomach. She knew she didn’t have to stand forever, but her feet still ached at the thought of it. 

 

She was happy her hair was still done up in a french braid gently laid over her shoulders and she was wearing her favorite gown - not lacey and puffy like she wore to court, and for events. A silky garment in reds, with a flow of salmon tulle pinned to encircle her. 

 

Lucretia quickly sketched the base of the new painting, pouring out her turpentine and oil and setting her pigments out. 

 

“What colour for the background?” 

  
“How about some nice purples?”

  
“Your brother got violet and eggplant, did you still want purples?”   
  


“Pfft,” She scoffed. “He’ll be delighted if they matched, go for it Lucy.”

 

A good hour passed, with the two women shooting the shit between layers of paint, and Lucretia deemed the painting done enough so Lup could leave. 

 

“I’ll see you later Lucy. Let me know when it’s finished, I’d love to see them all together.”

 

“Of course, have a lovely day.”

 

Lup didn’t run, she couldn’t inside, but she certainly hurried, to the other side of the castle where their quarters were. 

 

They didn’t share bedrooms, but they were connected by a shared parlour, where they had a vanity to get ready together at. 

 

Taako’s door had been left ajar. Lup knew it had been closed when they left this morning, so she gently knocked. “Koko? You in here bud?”

 

No response.

 

“Come on Koko, you can’t ignore me.” 

 

“I can and will.” Came a muffled voice. She opened the door and saw chairs pushed together and a sheet covering them. 

 

_ Are you kidding me Koko. _ Lup thought, inching her way into the room. 

 

“Right. Yeah, you definitely can do that. I’m definitely not going to…” She tore the blanket away and…

 

Taako wasn’t there?’

 

Sudden a pop was heard, hands were around her sides, grabbing her and pulling her backward.

 

Lup yelled, and her yell quickly turned into laughter as the grip loosened and turned into fingers digging into her sides and tickling her mercilessly.. 

 

“Fuck off, Taako, let me go!”

 

“Don’t fuck with my fort!”

“Why did you build a blanket fort in the first place doofus.” She pushed his hands away, and wrestled him to the ground. 

 

“Well when  _ someone _ didn’t come comfort me in my hour of need - fuck, Lup don’t touch the hair -  I had to improvise.”

 

Lup had maneuvered her way on top of Taako and planted her butt square on his chest. Taako’s breath rushed out of him with an “Ooof!” as her weight landed on him like a punch. 

 

“What did you say to Ren, anyway? She seemed really upset you dick.” Lup said, catching her own breath.

 

“You know that kitchen boy I had a little fling with a few months ago?”

 

“Yeah? Whatsisname… Jared?”

 

“Close enough. He got like super clingy so I broke that shit off like A. S. A. P. Taako got no time for that.”

 

He sighed quietly. “Get off me please.”  

 

Lup got up and reset the sheet over Taako’s fort as he crawled back inside and she joined him. 

 

“Like? What was he expecting beyond a quick fuck?”

 

“I don’t want to hear about you having sex Taako.”

  
Taako ignored her. “He was a good lay,  _ sure _ . But he’s a fucking servant? This isn’t Cinderella! Like, the fuck, what even  _ is _ that?”

 

“So let me guess. Instead of actually saying anything to him you just-”

 

“Ghosted him yeah.” Taako finished for her.   
  
Lup rubbed her temples.    
  
“Taako, you can’t just do that. Like I don’t care what you say to them, but if you say nothing then they have no idea what’s going on and then they get MORE clingy. This is like the third time this has happened.”

 

“Won’t be the last sistah.”

 

“UGH. You’re ridiculous.”

“So are you.” He answered, blowing a raspberry at her. 

 

“And I blame you for that too.” 

 

“But yeah, after the first couple times of him trying to talk to me I finally told him to fuck off, we’re over blah blah blah. And then Ren told me Sazed was asking after me and I just? Snapped, I guess. He won’t bug the fuck off!”

 

“I thought you’d been avoiding going to the kitchens lately…” Lup mused. “That doesn’t mean you should take it out on Ren, though. She doesn’t know this shit!”

 

“Yeah.” Taako fell backwards and laid on his back, tracing out the floral patterns on the sheet with his fingers. “I feel bad.”

 

“Mature of you.” 

 

“I’m proud of myself. Guilt. That’s some dank character growth.”

 

“Ok Koko.” Lup giggled. “How about this? You find out when Sazed’s next day off is and then go make some dessert with Ren. She’ll be happy and you can apologize for being a giant douche.”

 

“ _ Fine. _ ” He relented. “When I have the time though. Between Ango and our lessons I’ve been like way busy.”

 

“You’re fault you can’t say no to that face.”

 

“Ugh it’s so annoying.”

 

“Sure.” She smirked. “Come on, I’ll get us some cocoa and we can have a chill twin night, kay?”

 

“Sounds good Lulu.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://jocelyncade.tumblr.com/post/165993197107/i-drew-a-quick-thing-of-lup-from-the-fic-im
> 
> Here's the portrait of Lup. :3


	4. The Apothecary

“Oh Barolllllld!” Taako called out loudly into Barry’s study, despite the fact that  _ he’s sitting right there Taako. _ __  
__  
Taako hardly wanted to spend a beautiful afternoon stuck in a dank room filled with weird smells and dead things sitting in formaldehyde, but if it helped his sister get laid? He’ll take the bullet.

 

“We’re here for ‘Alchemy’, Barold.” Taako said, emphasis on the scare quotes, and Barry just stared at him, and pushed up his glasses. 

 

“Alright, well Taako, I have some worksheets on recognizing the various scents and visual signs of belladonna and nightshade poisons. Lup, we’ve uh, run out of spells that I can teach you. The best I can do is help you interpret texts and conjure some targets for you.”

 

“Fuck YES I love target practice!” Lup enthused. 

 

Ok, so maybe they weren’t here for Lup to get laid. Maybe she was just learning the Evocation spells their tutors wouldn’t teach them under the guise of them getting Alchemy lessons. 

 

Lup and Taako were well versed in magic already. They knew a fuck-ton of spells. Abjuration, Illusion, Conjuration. But because it “wasn’t ladylike” for Lup to know more than a few evocation cantrips, her “specialization” was Divination, even though, let's be real. She was garbage at it.

 

No, Evocation was where it was at for Lup. But no one would teach her. And Taako, who would have happily learned for her if he wasn’t bangin’ at Transmutation, couldn’t do much more that do her Divination homework for her so she wouldn’t get chewed out. 

 

Until Istus hired Mr. Barry Bluejeans. He was pretty unassuming. He was good at alchemy, and, surprisingly Necromancy. When he walked in on Lup trying to learn a 3rd level Evocation spell, he let her practice on some undead he summoned, and they kept each other’s secrets. He even offered to teach her the spells he knew, under the guise of Alchemy classes, which she jumped on in a heartbeat, and dragged Taako into as well. Because of course Taako couldn’t just not have anything to do with this. 

 

But Lup was happy. And Taako couldn’t deny that it was hilarious watching Lup using her clown umbrella to throw fireballs.

 

_ “You look like a clown with that thing” _

 

_ “Yeah, a cool clown.”  _

_ “No, you look like a loser. A dumb clown. You look like a clown who got the size of his shoes and his car mixed up, so he’s wearing fucking toddler kicks and driving an Escalade and no one can take him fucking seriously.”  _

 

_ “So a cool clown.”  _

 

_ “NO NOT A COOL CLOWN. _ ”

 

“This one sounds interesting.” Lup muttered to herself.    
  


“Ok, so for this one there’s a verbal component as well as a gesture and… dang, I think I have some ruby dust around here?” He said, digging around his shelves.    
  


“Well it certainly not near Lup’s ass, Barold, so stop staring at it.” Taako teased, without even looking up. 

 

Barry sputtered. “I- I wasn’t staring!” 

 

“Wow dude I was kidding, sure are defensive, huh?”

 

“Leave him alone Taako.” Lup laughed, patting Barry on the back as his face turned a less ridiculous shade of pink. 

 

“Fine, whatever you say. I’m just trying to defend your honor, sister dear.”

 

“I think I can defend it just fine on my own, sweet baby brother.”

 

“Lup we were literally born minutes apart and we have no idea who was born first.”

 

“And if somehow we get to go back in time, witness our own birth, and we find out you blessed the world with your presence first? You’ll still be the baby.”

 

“I resent that.”

 

“I resent you.” 

 

“I found it!” Barry said proudly, holding a very expensive looking bag. 

 

“Be careful with this stuff. It takes forever to get more. Don’t use any until you know you have the gesture down.”

 

And Taako went back to the worksheet he didn’t really have to do. 

 

It was actually kind of interesting? And if was good information to have, at least. If anyone tried to poison him he’d fare better than if he hadn’t learned this stuff. 

 

He moved on to the next sheet, on nightshades, and; 

 

“Barry? Does this say that fucking Tomatoes can kill me?”

 

“What?”

 

“Tomatoes are nightshade.”

 

“They’re just in the same family. They aren’t poisonous. Potatoes are in there too.”

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“Yeah whoever names these things are weird. Even Belladonna is called Nightshade by some people.”

 

Lup was practicing the wording for the spell while Barry talked Taako through the intricate bullshit that went into naming plants, so they didn’t even notice when she successfully casted it. 

 

With a smile, she called out “Hey, Barry? Can you come here for a minute?”

 

“Sure.” He said, and got up to walk over to her before bashing his face into something like a mime. “What the hell?”

 

“I did it! I cast Forcecage.”

 

“Good job, Lup.”

 

“Pfft. Good job you made a cube.” Taako said, casting blink and popping into the ethereal plane… Only to find the way there blocked as well. He popped back out of blink.    
“Yo, what the fuck?”

 

“Cool right? It lasts for like an hour.”

 

“Colour me ecstatic. Let me out.”

 

“I dunno, I think I might go for a walk. You guys are ok here right?”

 

“In a 3 foot square? Yeah no. Fuck that.” Taako tried to dispel the barrier, to no avail. 

 

“Ok, seriously Lup let me out. I’m getting fucking claustrophobic and Barold’s like 4 feet too close to me right now. I got my personal space, and I am  _ not good in here _ .”

 

Lup lowered the wall, still bouncing in her seat with excitement for being able to add a new spell to her book. 

 

“You gotta admit that’s cool though?”

 

“Yeah it’s cool. Never seen something I can’t get through in the ethereal plane too. Don’t appreciate being the guinea pig though.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

  
“Good.” 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I funny? I try to be funny.


	5. Lydia and Edward

When Taako and Lup  _ finally _ had a day to themselves, they didn’t often find themselves looking for things to do. They had an array of hobbies and people to visit, but their favorite pastime was the most fun. 

 

Bringing down the disguise self they normally had on, and removing the makeup caking their face, they almost looked like they could be normal. Once they added in travelling clothes and a general disregard for manners, no one had ever guessed that they were the Prince and Princess, out on the town. They left a quick note so their handmaids wouldn’t panic wondering where they’d gotten to this time, and eagerly left the castle. 

 

Sneaking quietly out the back way, they hopped the fence into the stables and approached their horses. 

 

Taako patted his, a beautiful gray stallion named Garyl. He snorted in Taako’s face as he scratched under his chin and gave him a sugar cube for being such a baller fucking horse.

 

They sped through the castle’s gates, waving hello to Carey standing guard at the entrance, and rode a good ways before slowing down and admiring the countryside.

 

The apple trees were full of near-ripe fruit dotting the leaves with splashes of red and yellow and light greens. Farmers tilled the fields harvesting the late-summer crops. Pulling up near one of the orchard, Taako threw a small pouch of gold to a young boy in exchange for an apple for each twin and their horses. 

 

After an hour or so, they stopped at a bustling inn just outside city limits, and tied their steeds up to the posts. They’d been here once before. They tried to space out where they went to so they didn’t really become regulars anywhere. People wonder when regulars don’t come around for a while. Especially when those regulars are elven twins. You don’t see that all that often. 

 

“What can I get for ya?” The bartender, a large orc man, polishing glasses, asked them. 

  
“How about some cider, and the direction to where your pool tables are?” Lup asked.

 

“I’ll actually take a Cosmopolitan.” Taako interjected.    
  


“Upstairs to the right. Can’t miss em.” He said, plopping their drinks in front of them in identical glasses. 

 

“Ahem.” Taako coughed. 

 

“What?”

 

“Are there no teeny umbrellas in this fine establishment?”

 

The bartender rolled his eyes, reached under the counter and stuck a little yellow umbrella into an orange slice and shoved it over the rim. 

 

“Thank you.” He said, voice lilting, and sauntered up the stairs. 

 

Before Lup could go to follow, she was interrupted with,

“Now it’s my turn to ‘Ahem’. 

 

The bartender held his hand out for payment. 

 

“Just put it on our tab.” 

 

“Don’t do tabs here. Too many,” he studied Lup accusingly, “ _ unsavory _ characters.” 

 

Her friendly demeanor dropped immediately. “Well.” 

She dug her hand into her pocket to grab her purse, and made a show of opening it, showing him the reasonable amount of gold she had brought with her, and placing the 2 gold onto the counter instead of his hand.

 

The bartender didn’t react. “Thank you ma’am. I’m sure you understand. Sometime we get people who think they don’t have to pay for things.”

 

Without another word, Lup glared, and prowled upstairs to join Taako. 

 

“What took you so long? These guys were beginning to think I lied about having a partner for pool.”

 

“Fuck that bartender. He made me pay up front.” 

 

“Yeah.” The human Taako had challenged to a game said. “Had a bad run in with some assholes with mile-long tabs.”

 

“Still doesn’t mean  _ I’m _ not good for it.”

 

“Don’t mind that. It’s a good joint all around. I’m Rowan and that’s Antonia.”

 

Lup smiled, and Taako leaned against the wall sipping his drink. 

 

“Lydia.”

 

“Edward.”

 

“Charmed, I’m sure.”

 

“Nice to meet y’all.” Antonia said. “You ready to get destroyed?”

 

“Yeah, right.”

 

“Never seen you ‘round here. We’re the best. Even put money on it.”

 

“I’ll take that action. Hundred gold?”

 

“That is… steep. You’re real confident aintcha?”

 

“You aren’t?” Her expression turned mischievous.    
  


“Not hundred gold confident. We can do 50.”

 

“50 and your shoes.” Taako said with a laugh. 

 

“Our shoes? What do you want our shoes for?!”

 

“Take it or leave it. 

 

Rowan laughed. “Fine. Deal. Flip for break?” He asked digging into his pocket. 

 

“I got it.” Lup said, hand already on her loaded coin. “Edward, call it.”

 

He smirked.    
  
“Heads.”

  
  


By the time sundown hit they had 12 pairs of shoes and no one wanted to play with them anymore. 

They had a meager crowd gathered, mostly of their previously bested opponents. Aside from gold and shoes, they had one magic hat that let you read the minds surface level thoughts, a cane shaped like a snake, and 5 drinks apiece. 

 

When they finally got tired they returned everyone’s belongings to their very relieved new friends, and headed back to the castle, more than a little bit tipsy and ready to relax. 

 

The city was bustling with the end of the week market and Lup had to restrain Taako from buying yet another hideous scarf that went with nothing he owned, and a shirt that had “Fuck Lobster” written on it in flowing cursive script.

 

You know what? Nah. She relented with the Fuck Lobster shirt. Taako pulled it on over his other shirt, which looked ridiculous and lumpy, but neither cared.

 

The trotted quickly back through the gates as the tower rang the hour. It didn’t occur to either of them that Pan Service happened just after 7pm on Sundays as they stumbled back inside arm in arm, until they heard Merle’s voice echo out across the hall. 

 

“Hey!”

 

“Oh crap it’s the cops!” Lup stage whispered.

 

“Where’re ya going? Service is about to start!” 

 

“Oh hey Merle. We were just gonna…” Taako’s mind froze as he tried to come up with an excuse. “I don’t know what we were gonna do.”

 

“Ugh noooo.” Lup whined. 

  
“Nah, Lup we got caught. We have to go be Xtreme Teens now.”

 

“Did you two have a fun day?”

  
“ _ Gods _ yes. We made so many people think we were gonna steal their shoes.” Taako wheezed. 

“Nice shirt.”

  
“ _ RIGHT?!” _

 

Merle laughed. “Come on,  _ Lydia and Edward _ . I gotta get to preachin’ the good word.”

 

They followed Merle into the chapel, trying to appear less inebriated, and, for the most part, succeeding. Most of the chapel turned to look at them as they walked too loudly into the room and found seats near the back. Istus smiled, holding her hand to her mouth and giggling at them before waving. 

 

Lup waved her arm high in the air, smart enough to not yell “SUP MOM?” across the chapel. They’d have time for that later.

 

Merle began his sermon, going on about the good word of Pan and leading them in a few hymns. Lup followed along while Taako spent his time colouring all in all the holes in the letters on his “Pan”phlet that Merle’s daughter, and apprentice priestess, Mavis had handed out to everyone at the beginning of service. 

 

The service went by without a hitch. Merle’s son Mookie ran about collecting donations in no particular order and Lup put far more than she normally would have into the plate, which made Mookie even more excited. Taako brought out his alto for “What a Friend We Have in Pan”, and Lup thumbed through the Extreme Teen Bible (far more interesting than the normal Pan Bible), until it was time for them to go to reception to drink watered down lemonade and eat oreos. 

  
  


After the hour sitting in service, the lemonade, and the general vibe of Pan Service to bring them down from their giggle state, Lup and Taako munched on cookies and talked amongst the other staff who had gone to service. They avoided getting too close to Istus in case someone who wasn’t In On It saw them chatting too closely with her. 

 

In the middle of a conversation with Merle and Magnus about what animal they’d be if they got to be an animagus like in Fantasy Harry Potter, Taako got very, very distracted. 

Specifically because walking out the doors of the chapel, talking quietly with Davenport, was Kravitz. He was in much more casual clothes than he was the day they met when court was held, but they still made him look fucking great. Taako excused himself to go bother Lup. 

 

“Hey. Sis. Hey.”

 

“I’m literally standing next to you dude what do you want.”

 

“Look.” He whispered. 

 

“What?” She turned, and spotted Kravitz. She shook her head and sighed. “Ok? He’s here. Great. Did you not ogle at him enough last time he was here?” 

 

Taako scoffed. “No. You dragged me away remember?” 

 

“Sort of? Anyway, you shouldn’t bother him too much. Istus’ has got it. She liked to deal with the Raven Queen stuff by herself anyway.”

 

“Fuck that noise, I gotta get my flirt on.”

Before Lup could protest Taako had already started to saunter over. 

 

“Sup Dav, could you excuse me for a moment.”

 

Davenport pursed his lips, but knew better than to argue with Taako. 

 

“Of course. Kravitz, we’ll continue this soon. I do have some pressing matters to deal with.”

 

“I-” Kravitz began, but Davenport had already left.

 

“I do hope you had a particularly good reason for interrupting our conversation, Mr…”

Kravitz paused, waiting for Taako to introduce himself. 

 

Instead, he just laughed. Krav would figure out who he was in a second. 

 

“Anyway, my dude. You’re like, hot as hell. I was gonna tell you the other day, but I was so  _ rudely _ interrupted, I never got the chance to. Got to watch you walk away though, so that was a plus.”

 

“Excuse me?” Kravitz said, his eyes growing wide.

 

“Hey, no shade homie. You should be proud. Flaunt what you got, that’s how I live. Anyway we should chill sometime. I know you got that whole “dark, mysterious stranger” thing goin’ on but I think you and I? We could do with being more…” He checked out Kravitz’s outfit more flirtily this time. “Friendly.” 

 

Whatever had gotten Kravitz’s goat decided to raise it’s head, in the form of him tersely saying “I have to be going,” and stalking off in the direction of the guest quarters.

 

“The hell did you say to him bro?” Lup asked.

 

“Just a bit of flirting. Guess he’s the shy type.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im gonna draw Taako in the Fuck Lobster shirt eventually.


	6. Indignance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 10/11: I finished formatting it, ugh i wish i wasnt such an ao3 noob. it took me forever to realize the was a rte  
> nothing's new, sorry, just update formatting

 

Kravitz paced back and forth in his lent quarters. He had been up here to discuss a new trade agreement with Istus and her council, nothing more. And now he was hounded by… Someone. He never actually introduced himself. 

 

He laughed in his face! Kravitz could feel his face getting redder as his stone of farspeech rang and rang. 

 

“Pick up…” He muttered.

 

“Hello?” A voice rang out, quiet and melodic. 

 

“It’s Kravitz, my queen.”

 

“Ah, Kravitz! Nice to hear from you, is everything going well.”

 

“Yes, we should have this bill wrapped up in another day. Do you mind if I be candid with you? I don’t have anyone to speak with at the moment.”

 

“Feel free.”

 

“Raven, you will not  _ believe _ what I just had to deal with.”

  
  


“So… Let me see if I’ve got this. A cute elf boy came up to you, flirted with you, and then you left in a huff?”

 

“Yes! No… He was just some normal guy! Where does he get off interrupting my conversation with the  _ Chancellor _ to tell me I have a nice ass? How do I even deal with that?!”

 

“If he was a servant, why haven’t you told someone about his conduct? I’m sure Davenport would want to know that’s why the elf interrupted you.”

 

“That’s an excellent idea. Sorry, I was just flustered.”

  
“You always are when you get compliments.”

 

“I don’t know if I’d call them compliments. Nice to hear I’ve got the “dark mysterious stranger” look down, however.”

 

“Ok Kravitz, go find Davenport. I have some things to finish up on my end. I’ll call you tomorrow with any adjustments.” 

 

“Of course, my queen. Sleep well.”

  
  


Kravitz knocked on the door to Davenport’s office. “Come in.”

 

Kravitz entered Davenport’s office. It was well-organized, and homey, with a small fireplace and sitting around, with one seat occupying Merle already. Davenport looked up in surprise.

 

“Why hello, Kravitz, have you come to continue our discussion from earlier? I was about to retire.”

 

“Uh, not quite. I wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yes, that elf was incredibly inappropriate, and spoke well above his station with me. If he was just someone in the city I wouldn’t pay it any mind, but since he’s part of your staff I thought I should report his behaviour so you’re aware of his actions.”

 

Davenport paused, setting his tea down. 

 

“That… elf?”

 

“The one that interrupted us earlier? The blonde one.”

 

“Oh! Him. I could have sworn you had met before then. He didn’t tell you his name?”

 

“No! That’s part of what I wanted to bring to your attention, actually. I asked him his name and he laughed in my face! Who does that!”

 

“I see.” Davenport said slowly. “That was… Edward. When he gets it in his mind to do something there isn’t too much I can do to stop him.”

 

“What do you mean? Can’t you fire him? I thought you were in the position where you could do that?”

 

“Unfortunately not. He doesn’t exactly ‘work’ here, you see. He cooks in the kitchen sometimes but he isn’t on our payroll.”

 

“I-. Ok. Sure, I guess. Can you at least talk to him? I don’t appreciate being accosted in the halls.”

  
“Of course Kravitz. You get some sleep, we have a long meeting tomorrow.”

 

“Likewise, chancellor.”

 

Kravitz shut the door gently and Davenport and Merle waited until the footsteps faded away, for Merle to ask.

 

“So Dav, what was that?”

 

“What do you mean, Merle?”

 

“You coulda just told him that was Taako.”

 

“Yes. I could have. I didn’t lie to him though. Technically that  _ is _ Edward.”

 

“You didn’t lie to him… You’re a riot, Dav.”

 

“I like it when things are interesting, don’t you, Merle?”

 

“Got me there, Dav.” Merle admitted, returning to his tea. “Got any fours?”

  
  


Even more frustrated than before, Kravitz stalked away, not noticing that someone had been standing on the other side of the hall and had begun to follow him. Until the footsteps grew close and loud he simply tried to ignore it, before glancing to the side and freezing.

 

Of course it was Edward.

 

“Hey homie.”

 

“Hello… Edward.”

 

“Charmed, m’dude. So I heard your little convo with Dav in there.”

 

“So you eavesdrop too.”

 

“Yeah it’s a vice, for SURE. Anyway, so sorry I made you uncomfortable and shit? I come on strong, didn’t realize I was coming on TOO strong.”

 

“Well I’m not a fan of the staff  _ flirting _ with me.”

He snickered.

 

“Dude, Dav just told you I don’t work here. Honestly dude, you must be tired or some shit.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Hey man, you can chill with me. Don’t gotta have such a prim and proper persona goin’ on, yeah? Anyway, next time you’re in town, we gotta hang. I know a baller pottery place.”

 

“I’m going to have to refuse.”

 

“I don’t mean like a date or anything man, you’ve made it pretty clear you aren’t into me. I just want to apologize with some wine and a couple bowls or some shit. I’ll cover and everything. I know you’re good for it, but it’s the gesture I’m going for, yeah?”

 

Kravitz paused, trying to find some hidden motive behind his offer.

 

“Maybe.” Taako lit up. “Just maybe. Next time I’m in town remind me and I’ll let you know then.”

 

“You won’t regret it if you do, Krav, I bring the party.”

Taako pressed a flyer into his hand.

 

“Ciao, bubele.”

 

Taako strode off and Kravitz was left alone in the hallway once again, in stunned silence holding a crumples flyer for “The Chug and Squeeze”. 

 

Kravitz made a face and shoved it into his back pocket, fully intending to forget this had ever happened. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote all this today (10/02) and figured eh. What the hell I'll post it all now. 
> 
> I appreciate comments and crit
> 
> Enjoy.


	7. Magic Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup has some sick burns, Taako casts mislead; 
> 
> Angus is an excited 11 year old and Lucretia just wants to get her work done.

Leon regretted every day since he decided to take this gods-awful job. 

 

Sure, the pay was excellent. It had to be, given the high-profile nature of the position. And also so whoever decides to subject themselves to his  _ students _ won’t just quit. 

 

But,  _ GODS _ , Leon didn’t think he could take much more of him.

 

Him being, of course, Taako. 

 

Of all the people to have, in Leon’s opinion, extreme issues with authority? It had to be the one who had a 50% chance of being in charge of everything in a 100-mile radius. 

 

But, who, pray tell, could be authority to a literal prince?

 

Anyone trying to tell him what to do, obviously.

 

Naturally, 4 afternoons a week, that person was Leon. He was just trying to get him to balance a godsdamned budget. 

 

Lup, while she could be just as aggravating on some days, at the very least did the work.

 

Taako just seemed to want to sabotage his chances of being deemed “able to do anything even remotely kingly”.

Or it would be, if everything he handed in wasn’t near perfect when he actually handed something in.

 

And so, Leon was left understanding absolutely nothing about his highness, and remained incredibly frustrated. 

  
  


Today, he at least had the decency to show up, but had the audacity to sleep through every word of his lecture. 

 

Leon could have woken him up, but is he floundered a bit later, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for Leon. 

 

“So, once you calculate the NPL of the previous year, you can make an estimation of where you need to allocate funds to, if you need to raise taxes to cover any loss, maintain them, or lower them, if the net profit has enough going into the treasury to maintain the overall costs. 

 

Lup scribbled her notes out, frantically trying to keep up. She normally only did so when Taako was absent, but Leon supposed Unconscious counted as absence. 

 

There was less than 30 minutes left of their lesson. 

 

_ Not a bad time for a pop quiz.  _ Leon thought to himself.

 

“Lup, please put away your notes.” He instructed, before turning to Taako’s resting figure and smirking slightly. 

 

He picked up a heavy textbook from his desk, raised it up above an empty spot on Taako’s desk and…

 

**_BAAANG!_ **

 

The book clattered to the table, and Leon jumped back instinctively, heart racing. That was louder than he had expected. 

Much louder. 

 

Less than a second had passed since the book hit the table’s surface, and suddenly many things happened all at once. 

 

First; the telltale screech of Alarm, loud and violent, rang in his ears. He could see runes activating beneath the textbook and he sucked in a breath as;

Second; Smoke and stars exploded outwards, pink and purple and shining in his eyes. Leon staggered backwards, catching himself on his desk before falling to the floor. 

 

Taako’s form crumbled and disappeared and a cloud of dust… Flour? Flew at his face coating the front of his body.

 

Leon was left speechless.

 

Lup laughed her fucking ass off.

 

She wiped away tears from the corners of her eyes, careful not to smudge her eyeliner. 

 

“ _ HOO! _ That was fuckin’ sick man. Round of applause for Koko, amirite?” She chuckled, clapping her hands and buckling over as she caught her breath. 

 

“I-. He-.  _ What just happened.” _

 

Lup counted each spell off her fingers, eyes twinkling with mirth.

 

“Ahh, 4 counts of prestidigitation runes, marked the desk with alarm, and then he cast-”

She paused to laugh hysterically. 

“He cast mislead in the hallway!” She roared.

 

Leon was positively dumbfounded. He sat on the desktop to keep his legs from turning to jelly, mouth agape.

 

“God Koko, you’re so fucking extra.”

 

And elsewhere, Taako smirked.

 

His alarm had gone off, if the nagging in the back of his head was anything to go by. That meant Leon was probably on his ass covered in flour right about now. 

 

He was reclined on a pile of beanbags in the library, hat tipped over one eye and listen to Lucretia’s scribblings are he mused over what he could have possibly missed in class.

He smirked as he imagined the chaos unfolding on the other side of the castle, and snickered.

 

Lucretia glanced up from her writings, peering over the rim of her reading glasses. 

 

“Something funny, Taako?”

 

“Just happy Lup’s stuck in accounting and I’m here,  _ not _ stuck in accounting.” He breathed with glee.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class with her..?”

 

Taako just shrugged, closing his eyes and leaning back farther. At least it was entertaining to so completely fuck with Leon.

 

He didn’t hate the class - not really. Honestly, he loved knowledge and learning new things. Just, at his own pace, and pertaining to his own interests.

 

And accounting? Not his cup of tea. That’s what you pay people for. 

 

Taako groaned as he heaved himself upwards, sitting proper as the padding of light footsteps echoed out of the stairwell. 

 

Angus McDonald, hair a mess of curls, and dressed like a tiny old man, politely knocked on the already-open door, meeting Taako’s eyes with unabashed eagerness, waiting to be invited inside. 

His notebook in his hand, star-tipped wand in the other, it was all he could do to hold back the energy threatening to overflow in his 11-year old body. 

 

“Good afternoon, sir! Are you ready for magic day?”

 

“Am I? Ango, I skipped class for this, why wouldn’t I be ready.”

Angus paused bouncing on his heels to frown in the doorway.

 

“You shouldn’t skip class sir!” Concern coloring his voice. “School is very important; you should take every opportunity to learn.”   
  


“But, I did learn, Agnes. I taught myself how to turn Prestidigitation into a fuckin’ touch-activated rune, my dude. And that’s one more thing to teach you, kiddo.” Taako smirked.

 

“But , sir-”

 

“Are you here to lecture me, or to learn some dope-ass spells? ‘Cause if you’re going to lecture me, you can turn that butt around and march right back down those steps.”

 

Panic crossed his face. “No sir, I’m here to learn!”   
  


“Then get in here, boychick.”

 

Angus perked up, scampering over to Taako and hopping belly-first onto the bean bag next to him. His glasses askew on his face, eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, he asked,

“What are we learning today, sir?”

 

“Hmm. I haven’t decided yet. What’ve you been practicing.”

 

“A whole lot, sir! All my cantrips, and Mending, Knock and Message!”

 

“Good stuff, Good stuff. How ‘boutchu show me Produce Flame.”

 

“No.” Palms hit Lucretia’s writing desk, and she sternly put her foot down. “We’ve talked about this. You want to practice fire magic? Not around my books.”

 

“The kid’ll be careful, won’t ya Ango?”   
  


“If he doesn’t have spell shaping, no fire in the library.”

 

“Fiiine, Cresha, we won’t.” Taako grumbled. “Spoilsport.” 

 

Lucretia narrowed her eyes at Taako, and they held each other’s gaze until Taako’s stone faced look broke, and he cracked a smirk. 

Lucretia’s face relaxed as well. 

  
“I know you’re fucking with me, don’t worry.”

 

“Would be a boring day if I didn’t, right?” Taako laughed. “Alright kid, how about you show me your stuff, boychik.”

 

“Ok sir!”

 

Angus waved his wand, a flurry of color sprouting from it. Taako smiled softly until wind buffeted his face, tipping his hat off his head. His eyelids lowered with annoyance. 

 

“Ok enough of that, kid. How many spell slots you got left?”

 

“Uh…” He closed his eyes and centered himself, just like Taako taught him, to gauge how much energy he had left to spend on spells. 

 

“Do you have enough to learn something… Advanced?” He asked cheekily.

 

Stars in his eyes, Angus practically lept into the air. “Do I!”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I asked, Agnes, keep up. Do you?”

 

“I actually still need to figure that out, sir.” He answered sheepishly, settling back onto his heels and closing his eyes. 

 

Taako liked to pretend this was a huge favor he did for the kid, that his mother made him do it, that he hated every second spent “dealing” with this smart-ass little 11 year old.    
But? When it was just him an Angus? (And Lucretia, but she knew how to keep her mouth shut when it came to Taako’s image.) he let himself relax around the kid. Some playful teasing here and there, but he did enjoy teaching the unstoppable force of positivity that was Angus McDonald. 

 

“I think I can stretch and do a fifth, but I won’t be able to do more than a cantrip for the rest of the day.” 

  
“That’s fine, we can go whip up a snack for ya after this if you need it.”

 

Angus beamed. “Can we make macarons?”

 

“I don’t got that kind of time kiddo, something simple for today.” 

 

Angus nodded, his smile never faltering, and his glasses threatening to fly from his face if he didn’t get to learn something in the next 5 minutes.

“Ok sir! It’s magic time now, right?”   
  


“Look at you, boychik, thinking you call the shots. I was thinking nap time first?”   
  


“Please sir, I’ve been waiting all day!”

 

“Fine, but only because you’ve been so patient.” Taako smirked, waving his hand towards Lucretia’s desk and whispering the verbal command beneath his breath. She had stopped paying attention to them a while ago, all her attention into her work, and shock spread across her face as her pens pulled themselves from her hands, her spare parchment, and an empty glass following suit. 

 

“Haha.” She said dryly. “Doesn’t he already know levitate?”

 

“That he does, Lu. This isn’t levitate though.” Taako drawled, as the items from Lucretia’s desk circled an entranced Angus. 

 

“What is it sir?” He asked, before stopping himself mid-question to interrupt,”No wait, let me figure it out!”

 

“Take your ti-”

 

“It’s Animate Object, right?”

 

“Hey come on, don’t interrupt your teacher. Yes, it’s Animate Object.”

 

“Yes!” Angus celebrated. “How long does it last? Are you concentrating? How far can they go? Can they see?”

 

“One minute, Yes, 120 feet, sort of. They have blindsight for a bit. Not sure how far that goes but it’s not far.”

 

“Wow!”

 

“Yeah, here come on, let’s give Cretia back her stuff and I’ll show you how to do the wand motion before we try to actually do this shit.” 

 

The items shuddered before having the animation taken from them, falling to the floor and curling out to how they looked before removed from Lucretia’s possession. 

 

Taako deftly caught the glass before it shattered to the floor, tossing it a couple times for good measure before placing it on the table next to him and shoved his hand into his pocket, tossing a few assorted wrappers and a pudding cup aside as he dug through the recesses of the deep pockets he altered into his robes himself, for a couple chess pieces he brought for Angus to practice on. He’d meant to teach him this spell for a bit now, though he liked to make it seem like he came up with lessons off the top of his head.

 

Angus gathered the stuff off the floor and dutifully returned them to Lucretia, peeking into what she had written on the parchment and complimenting her transcriptions. That earned him a hand ruffling his hair, and a gentle cheek pinch.    
“I’m trying to convince Istus to get some more books in for you. If you ask her yourself she’d probably push it through faster.” Lucretia whispered. 

 

“Ok ma’am! I really appreciate it, I’ve reread volume 6 of Caleb Cleveland 12 times already! Dang cliffhangers.”

 

“I completely agree, Angus. Now go finish your lesson.” 

 

Angus scampered back to Taako, ready to learn. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao i really should leave a buffer. But im ASM for a show and its kicking my ass and i have no free time


	8. Quality Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taakitz is A+

Istus didn’t often make trips away from the castle without the twins, mostly because anywhere she was needed, she wanted them with her for the experience. However, this week she was dragged away on an errand that conflicted with several appointments that she had scheduled in her own domain. 

 

She paused her knitting, frowning at an unruly perl, and redid the stitch.

 

The two could handle anything that was thrown at them, though. She knew that quite well. 

Not that anything she had was particularly difficult, but you never know. 

 

Anything could happen, couldn’t it?   
  


  
  


Taako was boooooored.

 

How could Istus do this to them. Leaving them all alone with these  _ dignitaries _ who lost their sense of humor when they learned how to walk with a stick in their asses. 

 

But he was prim and proper. Not faltering on his end of trade deals and transport agreements and blah  _ blah  _ **_blah_ ** _. _   
  


Lup wasn’t faring much better, she got the short end dealing with the money bits and people trying to get people sent to help other people in their senseless wars. 

She was smart though. Why get their own people killed when they could easily send a message of “hey dumbasses stop killing each other over sheep” with a peacekeeper and a set of medics to both sides. Merle approved, at least.

 

Istus had been gone to gods-know-where for 4 days already, and the lack of free time until now was making them stir crazy. It had been what felt like forever since Lup had lit any shit on fire, and Taako just wanted to be Literally Anywhere but here. 

 

Towards the end of their day however, when Lup was finally free, to Taako’s chagrin, and he only had one more meeting before a free evening, things started to look up. 

 

No one had told him who the Raven Queen’s emissary was today. 

 

But lo and behold, there was Kravitz, tall dark and stunning, as usual. Taako leaned forward, leaning his chin on the back of his hand and smiling with half-lidded eyes.

 

“Long time no see, Kravitz.”

 

“It’s a pleasure to see you, your majesty.”

 

“Please, it’s Taako, dude. You don’t have to be so formal when we aren’t in front of anyone.” 

 

Kravitz looked uneasily back at Killian, dutifully standing guard at the entrance to the office. 

 

“Killian’s a friend dude. When she isn’t working I’m Taako to her too. You just gotta chill.”

 

“I- Alright.” Kravitz relented. “Taako. Have you been well?”

 

“Very. Let’s get this shit over with, yeah?. Semantics and all that.”

 

“I suppose so yes.” 

 

They talked shop for as little time as Taako could manage. Until they came to the easily-reached agreement that often came for relations between Istus and Raven’s kingdoms. 

 

Theirs was a relationship of mutual respect, and, Taako suspected, more affection than Istus let on. She often dropped things to visit with her, and, while she tried not to show it, there was a touch of preference with how she scheduled things out. 

For example. Kravitz being last on the list so Istus wouldn’t have to worry about another appointment afterwards, and they could talk as long as they needed. 

 

But Taako said nothing. Wasn’t his business. 

For now, at least. 

“Alrighty then Krav, if it’s all the same to you, I am absolutely itching to not sit here anymore.”

 

“Are you sure? My meetings with Istus usually last far longer than this..?”

 

“Do I look like Istus, Bubele?”

  
Kravitz pursed his lips. 

“Fine. Have a pleasant evening, your majesty.”

 

“I plan to.” Taako answered, with a wink. He wasn’t going to be long. Change real quick, drag Kravitz out to do Anything Else Please. If Lup wasn’t busy with Bluejeans’, he’d have taken her too, but she was so it looks like it would just be the two of them.

 

Stripping out of his doublet-and-pants combo that he looked  _ stunning _ in, he traded that look for a knee-length skirt and a low v-neck. He wasn’t expecting anything to happen, but damn he wanted to look fabulous anyway. 

 

He tried not to run, but he’d actually been looking forward to getting to know Kravitz? Even if he wasn’t interested he still seemed like he could be fun if he loosened the fuck up. Plus Lup and Istus liked him. Though they liked most people. Taako had higher standards. 

 

He briefly checked the office, not expecting Krav to have hung out there longer than he needed to, and surprise, surprise, nothing and no one. 

 

He wasn’t usually one to play Fantasy Hide-and-Seek, either, but look where he was now. Walking quickly down corridors, peeking his head into doors, confusing the staff and visitors immensely before finally, FINALLY tracking down the tall half-elf, muttering quietly to himself. 

 

“Hey handsome, something on your mind?” He called out, visibly starling the pacing man. 

 

“Oh, hello. No nothing in particular.” His expression was guarded. Which, wasn’t exactly a surprise. 

 

“You sure, you’re talking to yourself while pacing up and down an empty hallway when you could be literally anywhere else in this baller castle. Usually that’s something on your mind behaviour. Copper for your thoughts?”

 

“I really shouldn’t.” He started.

 

“Come on man, what’s thumpin’ around your noggin?”

 

Kravitz sighed, checking behind him for eavesdroppers before whispering through hissed teeth. 

“I don’t think… Ahem.  _ Taako _ , likes me very much. Our meeting was very swift. I think I did something?”

 

At that, Taako burst out laughing. He could do third person.

 

“ ‘Doesn’t like you’. Gods, you serious?  _ Taako _ thinks you’re a swell dude who needs to chill out. Do you like being stuck in a stuffy office all fucking day??”

 

Kravitz was silent, thinking, analyzing Taako’s face it felt like. 

 

“I need to chill out?” 

 

“ _ Oh my gods do you ever _ . You don’t still have that flyer I gave you, do you?”

 

“Uh, no. I don’t even remember where that went.”

 

“Figures. Anyway it’s Cabernet and Vase day, and fuck it, I want to make some damn bowls. You wanna get out of here and actually have some fun?”

 

“I don’t think I should… Plus I’m not exactly dressed correctly.” He said gesturing at his ornate suit. 

 

“Yeah that’s a problem. I don’t think you’ll fit in any of my shit. You got just a button up?”

 

“Yes, but they’re very expensive and I don’t want to get clay all over them.”

 

“Roll up the sleeves, wear an apron, you’re good. If you mess it up, I’ll get it replaced. No sweat, right?”

 

Kravitz had to laugh. He was very convincing. 

“You know what? Fine, let me change and we can go.”

 

“Hell yeah, my dude.”

 

Taako waited patiently outside Kravitz’s room, arms crossed and leaning against the stone wall. When he finally emerged-

 

“Ok, can you say ‘ _ yum _ ’? Dude why do you hide those arms?”

 

“It’s not particularly high on my list of “important things to show off when on Emissary duties”. Usually I focus on my Raven apparel first.”

 

“Yeah that gun show would definitely distract from your general vibe.” Taako hooked his arm in the crook of Kravitz’s elbow. 

“This cool?”

 

“Uh, I suppose?”

 

“Awesome. Let’s blow this pop stand!”

  
  
  


They had settled down fairly quickly after their uneventful walk into town. It wasn’t particularily busy, and the instructor tried to intimidate Taako into making a vase but he could not be moved. 

3 bowls, half a vase and 2 bottles of wine into the lovely spectacle that was Taako trying to help Kravitz get the hang of pottery, Kravitz was finally starting to loosen up. 

 

“So, what do you  _ do?”  _ Kravitz asked. “I know very little about you.”

 

“Like in my free time, or-?”

 

“Sure. Free time.”

 

“I used to hang around the kitchens, helping out, making food, you know, the works. But things started to get a bit hairy there so I’m keeping my distance until I can figure out how to deal with that whole mess.” 

  
“What happened?” 

 

“Clingy ex. I’d rather not get into it.”

 

“That’s fair. What else?”

 

“I teach one of the pages - Angus? You gotta have met him, he tries to talk to everyone. Tiny kid, mess of curls, huge glasses? Smart as fuck and more energy than literally anyone should have ever.”

 

“Yeah, I have spoken to him a few times. I misplaced my wallet once and he found it for me.”

 

“Ah yeah, that’s our little detective.” Taako chuckled, dipping his hands in the wet clay mixture to deepen the mouth of his next bowl. 

 

“You speak highly of him.”

 

“That’s between you and me, kay? I have a reputation to uphold and “lover of some random kid” isn’t up there, you feel me? Anyway, besides that sometimes Lulu and I head into town together, shoot some pool, win some shoes, the works.”

 

“Lulu?” Kravitz inquired, sipping his wine again.

 

“Yeah, Lup?”

 

“Oh. You spend a lot of time with her then?”

 

“Uh, duh?” Taako deadpanned before letting his shoulders relax lower. “Nah that’s a valid question, we both got our own shit going on and I’m a busy dude. 

 

“It seems like it.” Kravitz mused. So he knew Lup quite well too, it seemed? He was quite a character, that was for sure. 

 

Maybe he judged him too quickly. He certainly wasn’t regretting his decision to come out tonight. He was charming, and surprisingly genuine when he wanted to be. 

 

“So what’s this about shoes?”

 

“Oh gods, so Lulu and I are fucking baller at pool, yeah? Like sure we might cheat a little bit-”

 

“How on earth do you cheat at pool.”

  
“Hoo boy you have so much to learn.”

  
  
  


6 bottles of wine, most drunk by Taako, 6 bowls, a seventh left abandoned because let’s be real, he made enough bowls, and 2.7 vases, Kravitz and Taako strolled through the darkened streets just after the moon had risen high enough to really be seen. Kravitz cradled his best attempt in one arm, oddly proud of it, while Taako yammered on and on about the travesty that was the First Time He Tried to Make Hummus. 

 

“There was so much garlic Kravitz.”

 

“I’m a firm believer in ‘There’s no such thing as too much garlic’, frankly.”

 

“No, Kravitz.” Taako said firmly, taking Kravitz by the shoulders and staring him straight in his eyes. “ _ There is such a thing as too much garlic. And it existed in the hummus from hell.” _

 

Kravitz just laughed. Honestly it felt good to laugh. It had been a while since he’d laughed this much with anyone, let alone a handsome elf who taught him to  _ make something _ . He’d never actually done that. He played music, wrote a little bit, but never made a physical thing that he could hold? It was an interesting feeling. 

 

As they neared the entrance to the castle, Kravitz stopped, staring at the sky, trying to parse his words together.

 

“You ok, Kravitz?” 

 

“You know, I actually had a really nice time.” 

 

“You sound surprised. I’m offended.”

 

“No it’s not that I’m surprised I had a good time  _ with you _ . Just in general. You were right when you said I need to ‘loosen up’? I just have a hard time doing that. So, thank you.”

 

Taako smiled fondly. “It’s no thing bubelé. Next time you’re in town we can do something again.”

 

“I’d like that.” Kravitz said, pausing before adding, “Are you sure this wasn’t just a roundabout way to take me on a date?”

 

“Hey man, it ain’t no thing. You weren’t into me, this was a strictly platonic thing.” 

Taako winked, “Unless you want it to be.”

 

Kravitz just shrugged at that. Taako wasn’t sure what to make of that gesture.

 

“You sure I can’t call you Krav?”   
  
“I think I can make an exception for you.”

 

“Aw, sweet. I think I’m going to be sick.”

 

“You do owe me a new shirt, though.”

  
  
  


“Hello your Majesty.”

 

“Kravitz, good to hear from you - everything went well today?”   
  


“Yes. It really did.”

 

“Did something happen?”

 

“Do you remember the elf I told you about? From last time I was here?”

 

“The insufferable one?”

 

“Yes that one. He convinced me to go out to town with him.”

 

“That doesn’t sound good. Was it bad?”

 

“Quite the opposite actually. I made a vase? And I had a really good time.”

 

“Well that sounds delightful, Kravitz. I’m glad you had fun. I’ll clear out a place for the vase on the mantle for you.”

 

“Thank you, your majesty. I’m going to head to bed now, I have a long trip tomorrow.”

 

“Very well. We can do a “proper” check in tomorrow morning then.” Raven teased, before hanging up. 

 

Kravitz sucked in a breath as someone he had completely missed stood up from a side table in the room he had settled into to call Raven. 

 

“Well I’m glad to hear you had fun too. He just finished ranting to me about your night before falling asleep in my library. He’ll tell you he doesn’t snore, but that’s a bald-faced lie.” 

 

“You’re friends with him.” Kravitz said, more a statement than a question.

  
“It’s complicated. But yes.”

 

“Is he normally so… forward?”

 

“Forward is most of his personality, sir.” 

 

Kravitz said nothing but “hm.”, his mind racing. He didn’t want to admit to wanting to see the elf again but?

 

“He asked me to go out again next time I’m here. I don’t know what he likes though.”

 

“Well I mean, you pretty much did it. Though there’s a nice little restaurant he won’t shut up about.”

 

“Thank you. Sorry, it’s rude of me to not ask your name.”

 

“Lucretia. You can call me Madame Director, if you wish. That’s my proper title here.”

 

“Thank you, Madame. I appreciate it Lucretia.”   
  


“I do have to ask though, because if I don’t everyone will be hounding me if they even hear I spoke to you. Are you interested in him? He has no idea.”

 

Kravitz thought for a moment.    
“I don’t know? Maybe?” 

 

Lucretia nodded. “I understand. I’ll leave you to your evening, sir. Have a good night.”

 

“Good night, Madame.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> worm friend is eternal


	9. The Attempt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sup sorry this took 12 million years to write.   
> i finished working on a show and then fell into a month long stress coma and then holidays, secret santa, blah blah blah.   
> Here. Have this.

Lup had asked Istus many times for lessons on how to defend herself, always to be told, from Istus, potential tutors, and almost everyone else whose business is  _ wasn’t; _

 

“It’s not how a lady behaves.”

“No one of the proper status would bend the rules to teach you.”

“Evocation is simply too violent.”

 

Or, Istus’ favorite;

“Things will work out the way they’re meant to, and I’m not meant to find you a tutor.”

 

Lup was never quite sure what Istus really meant when she was cryptic that way. 

 

But “too violent”?

Of course it was violent! And fun, exciting! And CHALLENGING! 

 

At this point, Lup didn’t argue. After all, what what the point? 

She was far better off making her own decisions, and asking for forgiveness, rather than permission. 

 

And blah blah, all that led to her spending a lovely saturday morning, drinking coffee and going over notes with Barry Bluejeans. 

 

Fuckin’ nerd. 

 

Lup didn’t mean anything bad when she said it though. She’d quickly changed her opinion of him after he was kind and she took him up on his offer to teach her, even with his limited specialization. 

She appreciated the thought. And it got her this far, so it worked out pretty well, she’d say. 

 

And here she was, sunlight trickling in through gaps in the blinds, casting weird shadows over Barry’s experimenting, sipping her drink while she recovered her spell slots from their earlier lessons, and handing things to Barry while he tried this and that on a jar with a dead thing in it. 

Gross. 

 

But, they sat in amicable silence, just Lup, and, well, her good friend, at this point. 

They spent almost as much time together as she did with Taako, which was saying something, that’s for sure. 

  
  


“Hey, Lup?” Barry asked, looking thoughtful. 

“Mhm?” She responded absentmindedly, through a drink of tea. 

 

“Am I… Cool?” 

 

She snorted, a laugh stifled by the liquid spurting from her nose, sinuses burning. 

 

“Oh, come on Bar! Did you really have to wait until I took a sip to make a fucking joke? Not cool.” 

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it as a joke.”

 

“Then… Like are you actually cool? You’re actually asking me?” She wiped off her face with a nearby hand towel. 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well, no dude. You’re a huge nerd.”

 

“Then why do you hang out with me? When I’m not tutoring you?”   
  


“Why do I-? Because I like you dumbass!” She said incredulously. “Jeez, what did you think?”

 

Barry just shrugged. “I don’t know? You just seem like you could spend your time doing anything. Wouldn’t something more fun be better?”

 

“Wow. No? I’m here because I  _ want _ to be. I like being here. Give me one good reason why I would be here if we weren’t friends.”

 

“Point taken.” Barry said, looking thoughtful, as if processing what she was saying. 

“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.” He said sheepishly. “I’ve just been thinking about stuff, don’t mind me.” 

 

“‘Stuff’?” Lup hesitated. Barry didn’t often get all… Sorry for himself? Self-conscious? She wasn’t sure what it was but it certainly wasn’t normal. Not like him at all. 

 

He waved it off, though. “Don’t worry about it. Just figuring out stuff.”

 

“If you’re sure…”

 

“I’ve got time.” He smiled to himself, not meeting her eyes. 

 

If this were someone else; Lucretia, or even Taako, she’d push him for deets. Barry wasn’t like that though. She’d tried once before and he’d just gotten more nervous, his face blushing wildly under the pressure, and she’d made a mental not to do that again while changing the subject to the fact that he looked like a goddamned tomato. 

 

\---

 

It was truly unfortunate the neither Taaco, nor Lup were particularly proficient in perception when they weren’t actively trying to be.

It didn’t usually affect too much; the occasional scare from someone not meaning to sneak up on them, or just straight up ignoring someone if they weren’t in their field of vision.

(Sorry Merle…)

  
  
They had some free time, so they went out on the town.   
Their evening had started simple -  a call to Rowan and Antonia.

Bar hop, play games. Relax.    
  
Bar after Bar, drink after drink; they noticed less and less.    
The familiar faces, the music, lively and intoxicating. 

Minutes turned into hours, the sun set, turning day to night. 

  
The wind had picked up as the sun went down. The leaves were changing, the days growing shorter, and the air getting crisper; nipping at the tips of their ears while they made their way home on the long way back.    
They weren’t in a hurry. Why would they be?    
  


But, for how late it was, it  _ was _ odd that they could hear footsteps, loud and clear, rather than muffled like the others in the distance had been.    
They patted down the cobbled alley, almost in time with the twins, who tried to subtly quicken their pace.    
  
Lup’s heart skipped half a beat as she could hear the footsteps picking up, walking in tandem once again. She reached her hand down to her brother’s and laced her fingers between his; him returning her grip with a panicked squeeze.    
  


His eyes were locked forward, focussed, like he could see something she couldn’t, and saw his lips move in a familiar incantation, just quiet enough she couldn’t make out the spell.    
His hand squeezed tighter, and his eyes grew wide for a split second, before pasting on a false grin and beginning to tell her a loud, inane story. She forced a few laughs in reply, as they weaved through side-streets, trying to lose their shadow, but only succeeding in getting further and further from the main road.    
  
She swallowed hard, hoping for the best.    
  
Many turns, and little white anecdotes passed them by, until Taako slowed his pace and physically looked around.    
  


“I think we’ve lost him…” Taako trailed off softly, hesitancy coloring his voice.

 

Lup wasn’t a fan of that color on him, if she was honest.

 

Soon, after staring hard into the distance and perking his ears, listening to any sign of movement, he relaxed, his posture slumping and exhaling slowly. Lup let her shoulders loosen from their self-imposed cage.   
  
“I can’t see anything. I think we’re good, Lu-...” He whispered at her. 

 

Yep. Unfortunate.    
  


Taako was cut of by a blast of pure cold hitting him square in the chest. He skidded backwards, hunching over and wincing, holding his hand over his chest. Lup dropped her stance low, on high alert, scanning for the source of the spell.    
As she locked eyes with their Shadow, she was faced with another spell, this time a bolt of magic missile heading straight for her. She quickly ducked out of the way, but her chest tightened as she frantically searched for the remaining bolts, and her heart sank straight to her feet as she saw two more aimed directly at Taako.    
  
Already prone, the first caught him in the shoulder, interrupting his casting and making him cry out in pain. 

The second, the effects were twofold.    
As the bolt buried itself in his abdomen, he doubled over, spitting blood onto the stone.    
What followed was Lup, shaken from her shock and overcome with pure fury.    
  
Without thinking her hands outstretched, and her voice boomed through the alley, bright light streaked from her fingers across the courtyard. 

The dull roar of flames deafened her ears; the heat singeing the stray hairs from her ponytail and burning her skin. Thin licks of fire spread outwards from her target, her shadow. A shout echoed numbly in her ears. 

 

She spun around, losing track of him. He was fast. Faster than she had anticipated, but not so fast that her eyes didn't follow along with him as he darted around her trying to find a vulnerable spot. She cast again, and again, switching from the deluge of fire from her fingertips, to small bolts that shot from her palms haphazardly at the already smoldering shadow attempting to escape her ire. 

 

Her throat was rough, voice growing hoarse, and she realized that between spells she had been shouting obscenities. 

In the distance, lights flickered on, windows opened. None that could see more than a wall of fire and hear the rage of the wrong woman fucked with, but it was a comforting thought that people knew that something was happening. 

 

_ Finally _ , she thought as she was sure she had him cornered. But he rushed at her. Caught off guard, they grappled. Lup dug her nails in deep in the mans clothed arm, raising a clawed hand in the air in attempt to scratch, claw, fight back. 

 

She felt skin give way to flesh, flesh give way to blood, and he spat, pushing her away and leave her stumbling backward. Suddenly, she stared up at him from the ground, face stinging, head cracked to the pavement. Disoriented and dizzy, she pressed her palms to the cold pavement and stared up at her Shadow. From this angle his face was no longer hidden - a face she recognized from somewhere, but the fog in her head, that had spread quickly, kept her from making any meaningful connection. He reeled back, and Lup braced herself, not breaking eye contact. Not showing fear.

 

A sudden flash. The man on the ground. Taako, staggering to his feet, shards of ice still peppering his side and a pained, yet somehow still characteristically shit-eating grin on his face as he admired his handiwork. 

 

"Fuck you." Taako said, and let ago another of the readied missiles behind him, hitting him in the chest once again. The release staggered him again, and he fell to a knee. 

 

Lup felt the heat inside her, like magma cracking through cooled rock, flowing back down the cliff-face, surge through her once again. Pain forgotten, she fell in stride with what she’d practiced, in the courtyard late at night, in secret, hiding, casting flames into the starry skies while hoping no one would come to investigate.    
  
She stood in front of her brother and with a roar of fury, she clawed and scraped with fists of fire and death.    
She hadn’t meant to push herself this far, though

 

Lup stared for a moment, at her handiwork; the would-be assassin lying broken on the cobbled road. A blink. The sky stared back at her. A blink. Her head hurt. She could hear muffled shouts and a weight on her chest.

 

The back of her head felt hot, and wet, in the worst way possible. She saw her face reflected back at her, broken and sobbing. The reflection raised a wand to the sky, and shot out a blight bolt of orange straight into the sky. Looking back into her eyes and mouthing words of encouragement as a sharp ringing in her ears drowned out an sound.    
  


And then her vision gave way to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love chapter names with dual meanings. :3


End file.
